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Saturday, September 13, 2014

10 Promises To My 80-Year-Old Self

I am getting older. It is inevitable. As you read this, you are getting older in tiny, incremental steps. You are older now than you were when you began reading this post. Each second that passes is one less second you have to live.

It's better than being dead, isn't it?

I don't want to view aging with dread. I want to embrace each age as it comes, and focus on the positive. I want to welcome old age with vigor and vitality. I want to sit at the table with it and have a long, lingering meal while we talk about what we did that day, and what we might do tomorrow if the feeling hits us. I want to be one of those awesome old ladies, who actively looks for reasons to be happy and who cultivates new interests and friendships right up until the very end. I don't want to succumb to despair, knowing that most of life is behind me. I want to be grateful for each day that I'm given.

With that in mind, I've decided to come up with a list of ten promises to my 80-year-old self. 
  1. I promise to wear whatever the hell I want without apology. I want to be the old lady that is draped in tunics and flowing pants, arms filled with bracelets, neck wrapped in scarves I've picked up from my world travels, gigantic colorful glasses, and natural gray hair shorn into a pixie cut (who wants to deal with hair when their old?). It'll be like wearing pajamas all day except more awesome.
  2. I promise to have as many cats as I damn well want. Who cares if anyone thinks I'm a cat lady when I'm 80? I'm a cat lady because cats are awesome!
  3. I promise to make romantic love a priority. I will have a boyfriend, and we will laugh together, and dance together, and tell each other stories, and maybe even canoodle now and again. This is, of course, if present hubs isn't still alive. He's got some years on me, so chances are he won't be alive when I'm, say, 90. But if he is, well, yay him! I hope he still has his hearing and cognitive abilities and hasn't gotten grouchy, and that we are the best of friends.
  4. I promise to cultivate a diverse range of friendships. I will have an active and vibrant group of friends of all ages who engage me and challenge me and help me feel young and alive.
  5. I promise to look after folks my own age, and hope they do the same for me. I have no biological kids, so there won't necessarily be any family to look after me when I'm old. I'd like to  belong to a tight group of old folks who will look after each other's physical, emotional and mental well-being. Perhaps we'll even all live in a big house together!
  6. I promise to keep myself in as good a physical shape as possible. I know that my mental and emotional health is closely tied to my physical health, and I will stay active, take walks, garden, and not use my advanced age as an excuse to keep it easy. I will challenge myself physically, and take care of myself when I am sick.
  7. I promise to maintain a positive outlook on life. I may be old and closer to death than I've ever been, but I want to have a healthy, upbeat attitude towards life until the day I die.
  8. I promise to keep that feeling of child-like wonder about the world, and to continue to discover what is beautiful about life. I want to always feel like a child on the inside, even if my shell looks like an old person. I want to stay engaged with the world, and make new discoveries, and revel in all the small, beautiful details, right up until the very end.
  9. I promise to continue to cultivate new interests and to learn new things. It ain't over 'til it's over, so what's wrong with learning to play guitar at 80, or dance the cha cha? Maybe I'll finally have the patience to master French macarons!
  10. I promise to look back on my life without regret, because all those choices and experiences have made me the person I am. I want to live a meaningful, mindful life, and even though it will have its inevitable tragedies, I want to look back on it with warmth and fondness.
What do you hope to be like at 80? What promises will you make to yourself?

Me as Millie in "Hot l Baltimore" (2001)
Production directed by Israel Hicks at Mason Gross School of the Arts

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