I Had a Dream

I had a dream last night...

Okay, let me interrupt myself.  I don't often like to share my nightly dreams as I know that it can be excruciatingly boring for the listener, but I promise this one time it is relevant.

I had a dream last night that I got an 11th hour reprieve on my lay off, and was expected to report to work today.  In my dream I was devastated.  I did not want to go back there.  Lucky for me, I woke up shortly thereafter and realized with a sigh of relief that I would not be driving to Burbank this morning, and that I am, in fact, still unemployed.

Which leads me to today's biggest order of business:  filing for unemployment.

I received the above tome as part of my "separation packet" from my (now former) employer.  I must say, it's a little daunting.  I've never applied for unemployment insurance before, and if the stories from friends who have are true, what I have to look forward to are endless hours on hold, lenghty waiting periods, interviews that could go awry, and the possibility of a dispiriting appearance in Appeals Court.

Good times.

As I sit here in my pjs, I wonder just how many others are sitting in their pjs doing just as I am doing this morning.  If the statistics are true, today in the state of California it's approximately 4400 people.    That's an alarming number. 

I think before I endeavor to delve into this mass of confusing paperwork, I should head to the gym.  I believe it's going to be important to me to keep up my daily routine as much as possible, so I'll attempt to make sense of all of this at the more reasonable hour of say, 9:30am.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Until then, have a lovely Monday, dear Blog-Friend.

Go Happy.
Amy

What's this blog about, anyway?

So what's this blog about, anyway?

I'd say it's pretty obvious that this blog is about the fact that I've been let go from my job - "laid off" as it were - and this is what I have to say about that.

But, what, exactly, am I planning to say?  Or, more importantly, what exactly am I planning to do, now that I have nothing but a empty highway of time stretching out before me? 

Good question.

Well, for starters, I don't look at this whole "suddenly unemployed" situation as a bad one.  Quite the contrary.  I've been looking for a way out for awhile, and somebody went and had the balls to make my decision for me.  So I have to thank them for that.

For the last three years I've made it my business to make the lives of those that have employed me easier.  I've put myself, my real opinions and my true aspirations to the side in order to make someone else's life run smoothly.  I was really good at it.  And I really liked the people I worked for (most of them, anyway - let's face it, there are always a couple of douchebags in the mix).  But it had gotten to the point where I felt like suddenly The Man was totally in control in my life and somewhere along the way, amongst all my best intentions, I had let myself, my real self, slip away into the background.  That's no good.

So thank you, The Man, for firing me.  It's probably the best thing that could have happened.

Now what am I going to do?  Is this the beginning of an era, not unlike those three gruelling years of graduate school, where I unapologetically worship at the Temple of Me?  A little soul-searching, perhaps?  Where everything I do, everything I say, revolves around the exploration, discovery and mapping of my inner world?  Where, just like in that darkened movement studio so many years ago, I shouted (in my most well-supported voice, of course) "I have no apologies!" all while rapturously executing the entirely silly-looking physical exercises drilled into me by a megalomaniacal Acting Guru?

Maybe it'll be like that a little bit.  I hope, though, that the last three years of self-subjugation has driven home the point that there are, in fact, other people out there, who have hopes, dreams and fears of their own.  That while I may be the center of my universe, I'm not the center of THE universe.  So that while taking a little time for some self-discovery is all well and good and probably called for, that I musn't forget that I actually exist in the real world, with other people, and that what's going on with them matters, too.

That'd be good.  I'm gonna do that.  Well, I'm going to aspire to do that, anyway, and chronicle it here.  I'll endeavor to tell the truth, the whole truth, and not be boring.  And hopefully you'll enjoy reading it, dear Blog-Friend.  Or at least not want to throw tomatos at me.

Go Happy-

Amy

Buh-bye, windowless cube!